12/17/2021
Snow blowers love summer.
A good friend of mine recently asked me to have a look at his snowblower. My first question, "send me a picture of this beloved snowblower of yours and we'll have a gander" so to speak.
What is the reason for this rather odd question you say? Well it's really quite simple if it's an electric, well that's easy, a tune-up on an electric snowblower is a bit like replacing the batteries in an air freshener, pretty much anyone can do. As a matter of fact you don't even have to do anything just grab a can of WD-40 and l**e up some bits. Well now, of course, your thinking, who has an electric snow blower?. That's a bit like saying hey can you come over and look at my fax machine, it's not working.
If anyone is reading this was born in 1995 or later won't even know what a fax machine is, let alone what it does. In fact, the first models were sold for about 20 grand. That was back in 1982. Today 20k is still, well almost new car money, but back in 82. A wad that big would put you behind a Chrysler Le Baron. Now, it will put you into a decent SUV. But come on.
Actually. I hated 80’s cars. Everything was square and X Y. Previous to the Regan’s we had cars that had swirl and curves. The gas cap took weeks to find and your girl was always sat beside you.
I’m lostI would like to thank though, those brilliant Scots for the fax, the Tv and the beloved toilet. ooh I bet you didn't know that. Whatever, there is nothing fun about fun facts.
Okay that's enough of that, now back to the question at hand, the gas powered snowblower. I love these things, mostly because they do things that I can't or don't want to. Give me a shovel, I will give you a look like, can I just like stay in watch the hockey.
Give a man an engine, buttons to push and leavers us to pull, and he's off and running, happy as a clam. The irony here is you give a man a tool for Christmas, or anything connected to a plug or is battery powered with saw blades, makes noise or goes vroom vroom or wah wah wah wah wah wah wah, he loves it. Give a woman the same thing, and you'll be wearing it as a hat.
Hint. Men!, if you don't know what to get your woman for Christmas, ask her friend her mother her sister or anyone that is designed to look a lot prettier than you are. We'll leave it at that. Oh let's get back to the snow blower again I keep forgetting.
A man and his snowblower is a happy thing. You know it doesn't matter if it's minus 2 or minus 32. He is the lead commander of his own starship.
Also, has a way to make snow going all kinds of directions, like asking his no1 to fire off photon torpedoes. .
A few years ago, I lived on the street where, when it snowed our neighbour four doors down, did our whole cul-de-sac. I'm not kidding. He would sit in his garage and pray to the snow gods. Anyways he would do our whole street, and then it would snow again, he'd do it again. You'd never have to do anything.
If you went outside to do your driveway, you have to go when you heard the famous two-stroke snowblower coming towards you, and then grab the sh*ttiest oldest crappiest shovel you have while trying to line up the two of you in accidental unison. Of course he happily do your driveway for you. The important thing to remember is that man deserved a bottle of single malt. So every year. I made that happen
Have I digressed once again. I have come to the realization that I cannot go into detail about how to repair a gas snowblower without trailing off into another useless story about what happened and why and where and who. Okay we'll try this once more, if you buy a snowblower, much in the same way you buy a lawn mower, you have to make sure you get it ready for next year the list of things you need to do a very simple I'll do it for you. Here it goes, in order, one at a time.
1 pick up some gasoline stabilizer, pour some in, not too much. Run it for about a minute. Then your fuel system Is now taken care of.
2 Remove the spark plug. Check it, make sure if it’s good. If you don’t know anything about plugs. Stop everything and sell it. Or call me. If all is well. Move on to no 3
3. Drop a little motor oil about an ounce into the hole of the spark plug. Once you've done that pull the cord a couple of times. Obviously this won't start but what it will do is lubricate the inside and the bores and keep it nice and lubricated for the winter.
4. Spend the next 10 minutes looking for that can of WD-40 you can't find. Then you cave and ask your wife for where it is. Now spray everything that moves mostly on the handles and the levers. Keep everything lubricated for the winter. Your handles will love you for it. In fact go nuts spray everything, those impellers that throw out all that snow, coat that machine. spray the crap out of it. Dunk it in. It's going to love you.
5. Lastly. Dig out your pliers and sockets and check all the nuts and bolts. Don't over tighten, and rusted ones either coat on WD 40 or replace.
Now, have all summer to take a drive to your favourite place. No, not Nellie's Two for One Highballs. It’s Home Depot. Actually cancel that. They're 100 places you can and go get nuts and bolts. What is it always have to be Home Depot. Go to Lowe's, go to a local hardware store, or, you know what? You live in the south? Take a drive to Okotoks. They have a Home hardware there. Going to Home hardware it's a bit like going back to the '80s, some cashiers still sport that big hair look. You go in, there friendly, they're welcoming. Also, all the people there know what they're doing and they know exactly what you’re doing. They brings things to you that you didn’t even know you needed.
They are very good. Go see the manager, I bet he still has his trusty old fax machine too.
Anyways tomorrow I'm going to talk about lawn mowers. Actually it's the exact same thing.
Just take this story and take out the word snow blower and put in the word lawnmower.
One last thing, don't tip over your lawn mower over and don't tip your snowblower over. Why? well you have oil in your engine and it's not designed to go sideways, it's not designed to go into the carburetor. It will break and then you call me, but I’ll know. So. Just buy a new one.
So, on that note.
I'm off to a second hand store. Wish me luck.
H
