Nunthorpe Diy Supplies

27/05/2026

Obviously with my mind being so pure I knew instantly that it's for styling hair 🤥

25/05/2026

Sat all morning thinking I could knack a Mr Whippy. I needed firelighters anyway that I could've walked over the road to Family Shopper for but where's the logic in that. I went mental and had 2 😀

24/05/2026

Before my inbox fills up tomorrow asking “are you open Bank Holiday Monday?” — no.
It’s my birthday.

Every five years it lands on a Bank Holiday Monday and the last one was during COVID, so technically I’m still owed one.

To make matters worse, the wife’s just come home from Family Shopper carrying enough booze to tranquilise a horse, so I won’t be anywhere near the shop.

Back Tuesday. Possibly alive.

23/05/2026

Closing around 2:30 for the soccer ball game.

I’m not really into football, but any excuse to drink beer and shout abuse at 22 millionaires through the television is good enough for me.

UTFB.

15/05/2026

Small following. How very dare he 🤣 it's what you do with that counts. I could've given him a detailed breakdown of how an algorithm works and what happens when it tests a post on fake followers but I had bird seed to bag up 🙄

14/05/2026

🎉 Facebook recognized me as a consistent post creator this week!

I'll be on I'm celeb 2027

13/05/2026

TODAY ONLY

Special offer on umbrellas and bread for the ducks

09/05/2026

Due to a combination of the weather, the match being on and feeling a bit ropey I'll be closed for Today

07/05/2026

VIEWS ARE VANITY. SALES ARE SANITY

I’ve been asked by a few people lately why I hardly post on Facebook anymore. Truth is, it’s a mixture of Meta strangling reach and the simple fact that views don’t pay invoices.

A decent post isn’t just chucking a photo online. By the time you’ve taken pictures, edited them, written the post properly and performed the little tricks to manipulate the algorithm, you can easily lose a couple of hours.

Last year the page was getting close to a million views a month. Sounds impressive until you realise views are just numbers on a screen if they don’t turn into footfall and sales.

Some of the people asking have been regular customers for years. They’d still walk through the door if I never posted again. That loyalty matters more than any viral post ever will.

Others haven’t bought so much as a screw. Which also tells its own story. If someone’s never supported the business before, another post about Alan arguing with a self-service checkout or Ethel terrorising a garden centre probably isn’t suddenly going to loosen the purse strings.

Don’t get me wrong though, social media can be a laugh. I love the interaction. Sometimes even the drama. These days even the trolls amuse me. Years ago I’d get wound up, but then my inner Alan would appear like a motivational speaker from a pub car park saying:
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

The problem is it becomes a full-time job in itself, and the money Meta pays is nowhere near a full-time wage.

It got to the point businesses wanted paid plugs because I could get their advert in front of 200,000 people. The price scared most off. A couple paid it. One ended up landing a £70k renovation job from it.

That’s the power of Alan.

As for Ethel, she hasn’t retired. She’s just on a very long holiday. Probably somewhere coastal complaining the seagulls have no respect anymore and the fish and chips are too fancy.

06/05/2026

Cheers for the plug, Sh*te Parking Watch UK

Just a couple of things to tidy up.

1. It wasn’t me who took the photo — I was too busy working.

2. I wouldn't be there to take it. I prefer little eateries where the food feels served, not issued.

As for the parking... A picture paints a thousand words.

We have tools for most jobs but nothing to help tools park. Call in for your DIY needs but park properly TS7 car parks have eyes 👀

Double disabled 🍆👨‍🦳 in Nunthorpe.
If you live near Nunthorpe then make sure you shop local and visit friend of the page, Nunthorpe Diy Supplies 😁